Final Fantasy Eight: Texts From Last Night
by Aaron B
Summary: Series of short stories based on texts from TFLN. Hoping i do Soyna's genius format justice! Latest: Fun involving hotdogs...stop being dirty minded...
1. Hairy Angel

Final Fantasy 8: Texts From Last Night

A little bit by me: Just for all of you fans of Soyna, I am NOT stealing this format, I got permissionJ. FF7:TFLN is probably my favourite fanfic I've come across in several years of reading, and I'm hoping to do it justice with this version for FF8. 

Soyna explains the format in the original Final Fantasy 7: Texts From Last Night, so I'd read at least the first bit of that before you read this.

Rating: M

Beta: err…Soyna flicked through it…

Cue: don't worry…

Warning: Mention of sex, drugs, alcohol and swearing…I'm a bad person…

Disclaimer: None of these characters are owned by me. Actually, neither is the format…

Characters: Squall and Rinoa

POV: Rinoa

…...

Hairy Angel

Rinoa got off the sofa, sighing deeply. She turned and gave Squall a quick look. He had passed out after five minutes of…well…as far as she knew it actually had to _go in_ to count as sex. There was no disguising it. Squall was plastered, high and buzzed all at the same time. He had shown up two hours late, fell into her apartment when she answered the door and (after pulling himself back up using her skirt) somehow managed to miss when he tried to kiss her. Everything else had passed in a horrible quick blur of booze breath and disappointment.

'So much for our first time…' She thought, looking around at the mess he made. 'At least magic can help with that.' She thought with a smile. She tapped into her sorceress power, and a pair of wings appeared and unfurled from her back. With a long sweep of her arm, pictures were hung back up, a spilt bowl of popcorn refilled and the cushions on the sofa straightened themselves.

"Whoa! What the fuck's that?" She heard from behind her. She turned to see Squall, looking up at her, bleary eyed.

"What the fuck is what?" She said, now losing patience with him. A dopey grin lit up his face, his eyes barely slits.

"It's all cool, Baby, don't worry. Your back hair reminds me of angel wings." He said, reassuringly. Her eyes widened in anger, and she felt the sorceress in her bubble over. That was when she found out that magic can help with nearly anything. Including throwing out your shit-faced boyfriend.

…...

The text that I corrupted:

Don't worry. Your back hair reminds me of angel wings

Oh dear, just how did Squall get in such a state, you wonder? And where did he go after he got thrown out? All shall be revealed! (whenever I feel like it!)


	2. Drinking

Rating: T

Beta: None

Cue:…Not together. Just in general

Warning: heavy drinking and alpha male behaviour

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just f**k with them :D

Characters: Quistis, Selphie, Irvine and Seifer

POV: Quistis

…...

Drinking

Finally, after a long night of slowly tipping backwards, Irvine's cowboy hat fell off. Not that he noticed. He was far too busy trying to finish the bottle of beer he almost had down his throat. Seifer was likewise occupied across from him. With a louder than necessary sigh, Seifer banged his empty bottle down on to the table.

"Already told ya, no way your beatin me!" Seifer bellowed, grinning at his now gagging opponent. Quistis exchanged a look with Selphie, who was also looking less than amused. The night had started as a triple date, and had been going reasonably well up until the point where they had reached Seifer's new flat. He had opened up a cupboard which was a positive Pandora's box of alcohol, and since that point, things had gone downhill. Zell had managed to either fall asleep or pass out on Seifer's bed, prompting an annoyed Verity to stalk off home. This had left Quistis and Selphie alone with their respective dates, watching as Seifer and Irvine's drinking escalated into a full on battle of stubbornness.

"Not fair…I'd already had a drink's...wid Squall…" Irvine spluttered, having finally managed to cough most of the beer out of his lungs.

"Doesn't count, everyone knows he's a lightweight. By the way you're bitchin, I take it I've won?" Quistis and Selphie looked up hopefully, hope which was quickly crushed by Irvine grabbing yet another bottle. Seifer grinned, also reaching for a another. He managed to knock it over, even though it was only inches from his hand. He started giggling at it for some reason, and Irvine joined in, until they were both laughing hysterically.

"We should become lesbians…" Quistis said to Selphie, "Not together. Just in general." She added, eyeing Seifer with a little disgust. Selphie watched as Irvine actually fell out of his chair from laughing so hard, and nodded in agreement.

…...

The text I corrupted:

We should become lesbians. Not together. Just in general.

I instantly pictured this scene upon hearing this text, hope you all like.


	3. Shame

_Rating: T_

_Beta: Soyna was sweet enough to sort me out_

_Cue: It's always fun…_

_Warning: actually quite clean, just a swear word and mild sexual references_

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, there would be a sequel by now_

…_..._

_Shame_

_Kiros sat bolt upright, instinctively reaching for his Katar blades. He quickly scanned the room, trying to work out what had awoken him. After five minutes of perfect silence, however, he settled down and tried to get back to sleep. That was when his mobile vibrated again. He picked it up from the bedside table and flicked it open._

_"…Laguna?" He mumbled to himself, looking at his two new messages. "Six thirty?" It had better be death or women at this time, he thought to himself. He opened the first message._

_HELP_

_Well that explains a lot. He thought, getting aggravated now. He opened the second message._

_DUDE, SRSLY!_

_"That does it," He muttered, dialling Laguna's number to find out just what the hell was going on. Laguna answered almost immediately._

_Kiros couldn't understand anything that Laguna was saying, even though he was used to deciphering Laguna's speed talking most of the time. "Whoa, Laguna. Take a breath, man!" Kiros said, "What's happened this time?" He asked, caught somewhere between amusement and weariness at his friend._

_"Well … you know I went back with Julia last night?" He answered eventually. Kiros could almost hear him biting his lip._

_"Oh yeah. Wait! Oh god," A horrifying thought had just occurred to him. "Dude, please tell me, you didn't…get a cramp?"_

_"Not funny man!" He could hear Laguna getting panicky again._

_"Well, what then? Is she still there now?" Kiros asked worried that Julia was witnessing his friend having, what sounded like, a mental breakdown._

_"No, she cleared out earlier … The problem is …" Laguna took a deep breath. "The problem is, things got a bit 'steamy'," Kiros had to bite his tongue to not laugh at his word choice, "and, well, she stripped me off a little …'enthusiastically'," Kiros was pretty sure his tongue was bleeding now._

_"Surely that's a good thing?" He said, grinning to himself. "I always think its fun the next morning, you know? To look around and see where all the clothing landed."_

_"Not when the bed is very close to a very open window," Laguna replied in quiet embarrassment. Kiros' eyes widened in horror. They both remained silent for a good five minutes._

_"Shit man, anything you need?" Kiros asked tentatively._

_"Some pants would be nice," Laguna finished, before hanging up in shame._

…_..._

_The text that I corrupted:_

_its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed._

_I couldn't resist having the original ff8 idiot messing up :D_

_Only one review…I really suck, lol_


	4. Wrong Number

Rating: T

Beta: Soyna

Cue: YOU READY…

Warning: Sex references and a seriously randy Irvine

Disclaimer: Don't own, no money being earned blah blah

…...

Wrong number

Irvine was getting bored. He was stood in a corner of the room, watching everyone else jumping and swaying to music. He, Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Seifer and Verity had all come to the house party together, and, while they were all having a good time, Irvine could think of much better ways to spend his time than getting drinks spilled on him and getting 'accidentally' elbowed in the face.

Suddenly, a young student came up and asked him for a dance. She was, judging from her looks, not even sixteen yet. She was also, however, slim and blonde. Irvine shook his head sadly, watching her go with longing that would earn him a slap from Selphie. He looked around the room nervously, trying to find something to do that he wouldn't regret 'doing'. That was when he had a great idea. With a smile, he pulled out his phone. When he opened his contact list, however, his smile vanished. All the names had been changed to one.

**xxxSELPHIE!xxx**

Then, he realised that he had an unfinished message in his draft box. He opened it, hoping it would explain what the hell had happened.

Now u can't cheat on me if you can only ring me ;) Booyakasha!

He frowned. This was probably the worst practical joke she had ever played on him. He dropped the phone back into his pocket with a scowl, walking through the crowd to grab another drink.

…...

Now the party wasn't so bad! Irvine was swaying slightly in a chair, watching everyone and laughing at everything they did. He had probably taken down the best part of a keg by himself, but that didn't matter! Everything was good! Now, he wanted some fun! With a grin on his face, he opened his phone, looking through his contacts until he found what he thought was the right number. He typed in the message.

_READY?_

He sat, watching Selphie chatting with Verity across the room, waiting for her to respond. Suddenly, someone stood in his way. He was about to get up and complain, when his phone vibrated. His smile returned, and he opened the text.

_for what?_

'Oooh, playing hard to get. LOVE IT!' Irvine thought, his drunken grin widening. He actually giggled a little as he sent off the next text.

_TO HAVE SEXXXX!_

He turned to start watching her again. Verity was dancing with Zell in the middle of the room but Selphie was nowhere to be seen. Irvine sat patiently waiting…for about twenty seconds. Then he got up to go find her. He literally checked everywhere, looking under beds, tables, kegs, men and - with a little too much hope on his face - women.

Halfway through him searching under the toilet seat, his mobile finally vibrated again. He opened the text, now very ready for her to say yes.

_I think you have the wrong number. I'm married_

"MARRIED?" Irvine shouted. For a horrible second, a crowd of the students stuck their heads around the door and stared at him. As soon as they dispersed, Irvine turned back to the text, totally confused.

'I don't know any married people,' he thought. Except for… "OH GOOOOOD NOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, absolutely horrified at what he had done. The students were back, and they had brought friends. He didn't care that they were watching this time though. He was too busy changing the name of the number.

Cid Kramer

…...

The text that I corrupted:

READY / for what? / TO HAVE SEXXXX / i think you have the wrong number

Oh dear…poor irvy…

With me, getting reviews is like charity. I will follow you around and shame you until I get what I want :p


	5. The Morning After

Rating: T

Beta: none

Cue: I just woke up…

Warning: A bit of mild language and severe headache

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, square is their official pimp

…

The Morning After

What the hell happened? Squall wondered. He had woken up to find he was laid in _his _bed looking at _his _ceiling. Wasn't I supposed to be with Rinoa? He thought. Then he tried to sit up.

"Aghhhhh!" He actually shouted out in pain. His entire body had erupted in pain, from aching head to badly bruised toes. What the hell happened? He asked himself in agony. With a massive wrench of pain from what felt like cracked ribs, he finally managed to get sat up. He just managed to keep his eyes open enough to look down at his topless body. It was a mess of bruises, cuts and dried blood from god knows where. Then he looked around his bedroom. It was a mess of vomit, rumpled clothes and knocked over furniture. He shut his eyes again, gritting his teeth. The pounding in his head had just become unbearable. He gingerly tried to put his feet on the floor, whimpering at the new pain lancing up his legs. He made a herculean effort to get to his feet, trying to at least find a shirt or some pants. Suddenly, his legs buckled, and he was throwing up all over…

My jacket! He realised with horror. It was too late however. Cursing lightly in-between gasps and gags, he started to try and save his mobile phone from the now ruined jacket. He opened it to find he already had two texts in his inbox. The first was from Rinoa. He had a bad feeling when he clicked to open it…

U hav a lot of explainin to do

"Shit…" He muttered, contemplating suicide as an alternative to facing an obviously angry Rinoa. Irvine still had scars from the last time he had pissed her off…As soon as the thought ran through his head, Squall's eyes narrowed in anger. "Irvine…" Squall's growl was almost feral. The last thing he remembered of the night before was Irvine offering him a drink to help with his nerves. The second message was from him.

How'd the big nite go? :D (u can thank me l8r btw)

With a scowl on his face, Squall composed a reply.

I just woke up covered in blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, I'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle and I have absolutely NO recollection of what led to this!

Squall didn't quite know why he was pressing the keys of his phone with venom, but it made him feel a damn sight better. He just managed to get back off of his knees and limp the kitchen, his want for aspirin overtaking his want for clothes at a sprint. He had just poured a glass of water when his phone vibrated on the kitchen side, making him whine at the pain behind his eyes. He opened the message.

THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world!.

I'm going to kill him…Squall resolved, swallowing down three aspirin in one go…

…

The text that I corrupted:

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

Well, I don't know if that's what you all wanted or if it's good enough, but hopefully this will explain why squall was in such a state that night :p More documentation of the night's events shall follow in due course!


	6. A Knight to Remember

Rating: wow, it's gonna have to be **M**

Beta: Nope

Warning: Yaoi…I know…

Cue: Despite what happened last night…

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and they're probably thankful of that K

…

A Knight to Remember

How did I get back in this bed? Zell wondered. He was about to get up, when an arm snaked over him. Verity. He thought with a smile. He liked her when she was like this. Cuddly and quiet, instead of always dishing out cold looks and snobby put downs. He frowned lightly, wishing yet again that she had stayed like she was when he had hardly known her. A quiet and shy library committee member. It had taken less than a week for her upper class side to come out, leaving Zell in a whole new mess of not knowing what knife to use at what time and that it was impolite to challenge her father to an arm wrestle. How did we end up back in this bed though? He wondered. He wracked his brains, but the last thing he remembered was chasing Irvine out of the flat. His face fell into a scowl, remembering the strange text he had received last night. He finally gave up on remembering and settled back into the soft arms wrapped over him. The soft, well built arms…with more hair than any woman he'd ever snuggled with…that was when he remembered that Verity had stormed out the night before. He turned slowly and looked straight into a pair of greeny-blue eyes.

"You know, for a loudmouth, you're really quiet when you sleep." Seifer said with a smirk. Zell actually screamed in horror.

…

Seifer was stood waiting patiently outside his bathroom, wearing a dressing gown on his body an amused smile on his face.

"Are you finished yet?" He called through the door. He heard yet another mouthful of mouthwash being spat down the sink in response. After what had to have been half an hour of scrubbing his entire body, Zell finally stepped out. Wearing not only all the clothes he had shown up in, but also his coat and shoes. Seifer grinned at him, looking down at Zell's legs, always a little exposed by his shorts.

"Stop that!" Zell shouted uncomfortably, rubbing his arm.

"Really? I've been between them and you honestly care if I look?" Seifer said smugly, causing Zell to blush and look away. Then, he seemed to gather his willpower take a deep breath and speak.

"Dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay." He said, trying to sound as serious as he could. Seifer actually had to laugh at how childish he looked. "Stop laughing! I mean it!" He said forcefully.

"Oh, really?" Seifer tilted his head to one side as he said it. "Then how do you explain these?" He slipped down his dressing gown, revealing bites all over his neck and shoulders.

"Stop it…" Zell said, visibly forcing himself to look away from Seifer's _very_ ripped abs. Seifer grinned even wider. He walked over to Zell, who stood rooted to the spot. He leaned in close to his ear.

"Are you sure you aren't gay?" He let his tongue dart out and tease Zell's ear as he said it, making him moan gently.

"But what about Quistis?" Zell said desperately, his willpower crumbling.

"She's nothing compared to you." Seifer replied softly, kissing at his neck.

"V-verity…!" Zell gasped, making one last attempt to resist him.

"She's nothing compared to me." Seifer said with a smirk, letting his dressing gown drop completely…

…

The text that I corrupted:

Dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

…I don't even know what to say…hope I did sexy yaoi for a straight guy I guess :p


	7. Roar

Rating: T

Beta: None

Warning: supreme case of idiocy

Cue: I don't know what you're doing, but…

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, insert fanboy joke here

…

Roar

"How far away are you?" Kiros asked wearily, sending one, last attempt text.

What am I doing spending my day hunting your ass down?

"Just around the corner now." Ward grumbled.

"You have permission to kick his ass when you get there." Kiros said in all seriousness. Laguna was supposed to have reported for duty more than half an hour ago at the Deling city base, and now Ward and Kiros were hunting through the city to try and find him before he got in real trouble. Kiros had already been to the hotel and asked Julia, but she hadn't seen him since earlier that morning. After checking every single bar they had ever drank in, he had resorted to ringing Ward, who had headed straight for Laguna's flat.

"Hmm, think I might jus…huh?" Kiros could hear some voices yelling over the phone. "What do you want?" Ward growled. By the sounds of it, a bunch of drunks were harassing him. "Just go home, you aren't worth my time…" Ward said quietly. Kiros heard him start walking again. "Sorry, what were you saying Kiro-aghhh!" His sentence was cut short by him shouting in pain. "You little BASTARD!" Kiros held the phone away from his ear as Ward let out a titanic roar, a few thuds just audible underneath it. "You better run!" He shouted, but much quieter now.

"You ok, Ward?" Kiros asked tentatively.

"Yeah…scrawny guy hit me from behind, damn coward…" Ward muttered.

"Well, if Laguna was asleep, I'm almost certain you woke him up by yelling like that." Kiros said with a grin. Almost in response it seemed, Kiros' phone beeped. "Hang on man, I have a message." It was from Laguna.

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street

With a grin, Kiros pictured Laguna's face when the 'dragon' started knocking at his door.

…

The text that I corrupted:

I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street

Not the best I've ever done, but I felt like writing a Laguna scenario again J


	8. The Morning After 2

Rating:T

Beta: The loyal and perverted Soyna

Cue: You were pretty fucked up...

Warning: little bit of swearing

Disclaimer: Square Enix made these people. I didn't. Why are you reading this? It's not really meant to be read you know? Just here to stop me gettin butt raped via court. Yeah...you should probably start reading the new chapter now...I mean it! If you read one more word of this, i'll set Soyna on you! She has nipple clamps and candles and all manner of stuff that'd make sephiroth cry like a baby...! I WARNED YOU!

The morning after 2

Squall took a deep breath, laying down in the tub of hot water. He had washed off most of the blood and other mess on his body already, but he had felt the need of a hot bath to soothe his aches and pains. After what felt like an eternity of just laying there, he finally got out, drying himself just enough to pick up his phone without damaging it. He looked again at the text from Rinoa.

U hav a lot of explainin to do

He bit his lip nervously. He had no idea what he had done, but he knew that if he had messed up last night, then he was walking on VERY thin ice. Last night was meant to have been his and Rinoa's first night together. There had been so much work for all of them after Ultimecia's defeat. Helping to clear Galbadia Garden of monsters (it had been infested after Seifer had abandoned it in Centra), being honoured guests at the launch of the new Esthar Space Station and spending hours of backbreaking work trying to restore Trabia garden to it's former beauty. There hadn't been time for him and Rinoa to get close, especially seeing as she had taken a flat in Dollet, miles away from Squall's in Deling city (still refusing to be within a mile of her father). He knew that if he had done a single thing wrong last night, he was going to have to beg for forgiveness, and he had a sneaking suspicion he had done more than a single thing wrong.

How bad was I?

He asked simply, putting the phone down again. He knew there was no point in swamping Rinoa in apologies yet, seeing as he didn't know what he was apologising for. As he dried his legs, he felt his ankle twinge again. He was just wondering what the hell had given him all his wounds, especially seeing as Ultimecia had left him less damaged, when his phone vibrated.

I had to throw u out with magic. THAT bad

Squall would have wondered further about what he had done, but a horrific idea had struck him. His eyes wide in shock (and a little fear), he sent her another message.

You did this to me?

He accompanied the text with a picture of his battered body, trying to cram all his bruises and cuts into a single photo. He waited in quiet tension, wondering what the hell to do. If Rinoa had seriously caused that much damage to him, what would she do _next _time they argued? The phone buzzed again.

Oh no, that was you. You were pretty fucked up…decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea…it was extremely entertaining.

Squall stood for a full minute reading the text.

Now I know what she's gonna do next time we argue…Squall thought ruefully. She's gonna bring this up again…

Inspiration: You were pretty fucked up...decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea...It was extremely entertaining...

Yeah, dont ask why i went so ott on the disclaimer :s i blame the flu


	9. Physical

Rating: M

Beta: No help this time, but what the hay, I no how to spell correctly

Cue: Clearly I understand…

Warning: Bit of swearing

Disclaimer: I'm snowed in right now, so my supply of funny disclaimers can't get here…sorry for the inconvenience…Square Enix made these people

….

9. Physical

Yet another raucous giggle ran through the flat, and Zell actually started growling in anger. This was the fifth time he had been woken up by the noise, and it hadn't been funny the first time.

One more time…He thought to himself, just as he heard a dull slap and a badly stifled giggle. It was definitely Irvine. "Fuck this…" He mumbled to himself, climbing out of the bed he had been laying in, and walking into the living room, totally prepared to beat the shit out of the cowboy wannabe, but totally unprepared for what he saw. Irvine hadn't noticed him, as he was too busy looking down a hotdog sausage at Seifer, who was slumped backwards against the wall. After nearly a minute of badly suppressed laughs, he let the sausage fly, bursting into yet more giggles as the meat slapped against Seifer's face and slid down his white coat and onto a pile of sausages in his lap. Just as he was about to pull yet another sausage from a jar next to the sofa he was sat on, Irvine finally noticed Zell, and froze like a rabbit in headlights.

"How the fuck did this happen?" Zell asked, all other questions about sanity completely escaping him.

"Well…" Irvine said in a serious voice, grabbing a sausage and aiming yet again. "Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine…I haven't missed yet." And with that, another sausage flew across the room, slapping against Seifer's face again, making Irvine actually roar with laughter. Zell just shook his head, walking out of the room and back to the bed. As he fell asleep, he heard one last wet slap from the room, followed by the grunt of someone waking up.

"What the…IRVINE!" Seifer's yell ripped through the night, followed by a series of yelps and thumps.

Maybe Seifer isn't all that bad…Zell thought with a grin, falling into a much more comfortable sleep.

….

Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

I got in the mood for writing these again, so keep an eye out, there may be another new one VERY soon!


	10. Christmas Eve

Okay, I'm bored of writing all the things like the cue down up here, i always put the cue at the bottom anyway :s

If any of you seriously miss the boring information part, send me messages so I can laugh at you.

...

Christmas Eve

After a valiant battle lasting much more than an hour, Squall could go on no longer. A yawn escaped his lips before he could stifle it. Rinoa gave him a sour look, and he grinned sheepishly back. She shifted slightly, getting her head more comfortable against his chest and turning back to the old movie they **were **watching (Squall had no choice in the matter). It was a silly old film, full of drunken actors, crappy special effects and it had a happy ending because the good guys 'believed in magic'.

I believed in magic when I was fighting Ultimecia. It really didn't help to 'believe in' the ultima flying at me…Squall mused, a wry smirk on his face. He had always hated stupid films like this, but he had persevered for Rinoa's sake. Apparently, she had watched it every Christmas since she was two, when her mother had sat her down to watch it. Squall had learnt very quickly to just keep quiet whenever Rinoa's mother was mentioned, so he had been sat slowly losing feeling in his buttocks for the past hour or so. Rinoa let out a deep sigh, squeezing Squall's hand gently, as the movie's heroes finally kissed each other. In severe danger of yawning again, Squall stood up, walking out of the warm living room to 'get a drink'.

When he reached the kitchen, he shut the door into the hallway, so Rinoa wouldn't hear him yawn and stretch his lethargic limbs. He looked around the kitchen, slightly bemused that it all belonged to them. It wasn't any bigger than any average kitchen, but was simply colossal compared to the tiny one in the flat they had shared. With a grin on his face, he walked across the black tiles, picking up a saucepan from where it hung. He opened the fridge, taking out a carton of milk, closed it, and was just about to turn away, when he saw a picture attached to it by a magnet. Him and Rinoa hugging in the ballroom at garden, where they had first met. With a smile, he grabbed two mugs instead of one. As he made the hot chocolate, he couldn't help thinking how much his life had changed over the past year. After a few months as an item, he and Rinoa had finally moved in together. Up until a month ago, they had been perfectly happy in the little flat, but then, things had changed…After a series of arguments, they had both eventually agreed they needed more space. So they had gotten it. A nice big, three bedroom house on the edge of Winhill, that had more than enough room for everyone. The only problem with it was, Winhill was a long way away from everyone else.

And tomorrow was gonna go a long way towards solving that…Squall thought bitterly. Then he shook himself out of it, realising there was no point in dwelling on it on Christmas Eve. Besides, dad's still coming. He remembered, a smile on his face. It had been too long since he had last seen his father. The smile was still on his face as he carried two steaming mugs of hot chocolate through the hallway, back into the living room. The smile vanished, as he saw the look on Rinoa's face. Her watery eyes were focused on her phone, a fiery scowl on her face.

"Angel?" Squall said, a worried look on his face as he used his pet name for her. She looked up, her expression changing to one of pure sadness, then back into anger as she threw her phone across the room, then stomped away up the stairs, tears pouring from her eyes. Angelo whimpered in the corner, having been woken up by the noise. "It's alright boy…" Squall said with a sigh, placing the cups on a side table and crouching by the dog's bed. He scratched him behind the ears as he picked up Rinoa's phone, hoping he was wrong about what had set her off.

Hi Rinoa! Can you please tell Squall I can't make it to dinner tomorrow? The people here in Esthar have set up a surprise ceremony for me that's come as…well…a surprise! I have to be at the dinner tomorrow, otherwise I'm going to look awful! I'm really sorry! Laguna

Squall growled a curse, flicking the phone shut and standing up. He threw on his old leather jacket on top of his shirt and walked out the front door, hoping a walk would take out some of his anger. As he walked through the snow strewn countryside, his mind turned over each of his former companions in his head, trying to decide which he hated the most. Quistis had been the first to cancel his and Rinoa's offer of Christmas Dinner together, as she had a very busy life these days, what with being the new headmistress of garden, and that had meant that Seifer was out of the picture as well, as he would be spending Christmas with Quistis at their house in Balamb. Zell had cancelled a few days later, saying he was spending Christmas at his mother's in Balamb. Irvine and Selphie had been next, what with their dedication to Trabia Garden, or to each other, Squall suspected. Cid and Edea had cancelled due to the snow, and Squall hadn't argued. It was totally unfair to have them travel in this weather at their age. Now that his dad had let them down, however, it looked like he and Rinoa were going to be spending Christmas alone…It had been so important to her as well. She had made a massive fuss about picking the right turkey, getting every vegetable under the sun and moon, finding her mother's father's sister's recipe for gravy and getting it just right. Squall had decided early on to just play packhorse rather than dare to interfere, and had loyally fetched everything she had asked for (twice on some occasions). But there was more to it that having a perfect Christmas. They both had so much they needed to say to everyone, in person rather than over the phone for once. Squall looked around him, realising his blind fury had carried him all the way to the village centre. Leaning against a wall, he pulled his phone out, typing a text with numbed fingers. He sent the message to all of them with an angry press.

I hope you all have a really happy Christmas, because I'm certain we won't. I'm still usually the most miserable in the group, so why the hell am I showing more Christmas spirit than any of you?

He didn't care if he never got another message back from any of them as he walked home. As he reached the door, his phone still hadn't buzzed, and an unsatisfying smile reached his face. He hadn't wanted them all to back off at his anger, but it looked like they had. Just as he threw his coat onto it's hanger, his phone buzzed. With a smirk, he flipped it open, looking forward to a heated argument.

If letting him bang me while I'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the Christmas spirit, I don't know what is

His mouth fell agape in shock, and that was only the beginning. He actually made a choking sound as he saw who the text had come from.

...

Seifer scowled moodily over at Zell. The punched had sobered him up viciously, and what had started as a prank had turned the air of the room sour. Zell frowned back, unwilling to apologise for almost breaking his jaw.

"I don't care if you thought it was funny. What do you think Squall's gonna say?" Zell growled folding his arms.

"Like I give a shit what he thinks…" Seifer replied huffily, rubbing the side of his aching face.

"Grow up…" Zell sighed, walking into the kitchen and grabbing some ice in a towel. Walking back into the living room, he held it against Seifer's face. "You can't go around acting like a bully to him anymore."

"And you're going to stop me doing what I want?" He replied with a smirk, placing his hand over Zell's.

"If I have to." Zell said simply, trying to pull away from his touch.

"But you know you've never been any good at that." Seifer said with a grin, pulling Zell closer and slipping his tongue in his mouth. Zell fought the kiss for a moment, then gave in.

"No more text from my phone, ok?" Zell grumbled, snuggling against him.

"On one condition." Seifer replied, kissing him gently on the head. Zell looked up questioningly. "Show some Christmas spirit." He said with a smug smile, holding up a pair of reindeer horns they had been goofing around with earlier.

...

**The Text I Corrupted: **If letting him bang me while I'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the Christmas spirit, I don't know what is

**Hehehehehe, try and get THAT image out of your heads :p**


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